Mad Men Quote:
Don Draper: She’s a sweet girl and she wants me to know her, but I already do. People tell you who they are but we ignore it, because we want them to be who we want them to be.
Season 4 Episode 8: The Summer Man
I find this to be similar to the Maya Angelo quote:
"When people tell you who they are -- believe them"
This is one of the hardest things for me to do. I sometimes deny that someone has shown me a truth and dwell in the lie without even knowing it. I think it is a self-protection reflex. It's like when you are on a long trip and you are mad at the person sitting next to you in the car. You can make the best of it by focusing on your surroundings and discussing something far from the source of anger. You can make the best of it with silence. OR you can make the best of it by discussing the problem and letting it go. I find that I get stuck in the surroundings focus that I never get back to the problem. I have had some family (not really immediate family) that uses revenge. They are calculated in their anger and wait to pounce like a cat. If you bring up a problem, they feel that you are hurting them personally and will find a way to hurt you personally later. I made the mistake of bringing some friends and lovers into my heart with this same reaction. I kept trying to fix this familial problem and realized there is nothing to fix. It is what it is. I now surround myself with people who don't use revenge and who don't take it personally. We live on this planet with billions of people. We are going to cross paths that seem to throw you off of your path but if we can remember that paths are not straight, that they have curves and turns and rough patches, we will be much happier with the journey.
I also like those times when you have to make your own path. I feel like I am in that mode professionally right now. I can see the highway but I am still in the forest trudging closer to civilization. It is so important to let these quotes reveal themselves to you when deciding to work somewhere. I will be so glad to work in a more positive environment with people that are more emotionally intelligent. I have worked in both positive and negative environments and notice that my efficacy is 100 percent in the positive place. My emotional intelligence has also grown so much personally and professionally over the last few years and I realize that I am now ready for that great work place. I just need to remember patience which has come much easier with this new way of thinking. I am so happy for mistakes so that I can get to the best place possible for my ultimate self.
Monday, April 9, 2012
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Not quite over the Hill
This blog is unedited free-thought and is an expression of those "soap box" or "dear diary" moments. It is not intended to be great literature. If I have learned anything through my life journey, it is this. If I keep bottling up thoughts and feelings, they will explode much like a soda in the freezer. This is one of my outlets. Thanks for stopping by.
2 comments:
I hope you know those who love you and care about you. I am particularly interested in your “family” problem since you have been incommunicado for months now.
Oh BJ! I have neglected you and everyone else for that matter. I am so sorry. I have not gotten the results of my tests at UT and I was going to get in touch with you then. Now looking back, I see how rude that is. Again I am sorry.
The family that I was speaking of was a member of my "chosen" family. As a gay man we set up a network of understanding people that we bring into our lives as family. Not to replace anyone but to fulfill the deeper acceptance that we long for as a community who faces unacknowledged unions and love that is mistaken for sin. Unfortunately those people are sometimes only understanding in this one area and the deeper truth of that person is not revealed until after the familial bond has started.
I am actually having great success with my parents. They came out here to visit me and realize how difficult the drive is. I think they understand why I opted not to visit them at times. We had a wonderful visit and I miss them and look forward to seeing them again.
I just turned in my last specialized comp this morning at 1:35am. Your timing is perfect!! Today is the last class day and it is due at 9am but I wanted to make sure it was at the top of his email.
I know you love me and I love you dearly!! My career and school are a bit up in the air. I am just waiting to see where things land. Right now it is out of my control so my status is "Let it be" and my communication is nonexistent.
Please send me some news. You are a treasure. You are both a part of my blood family and my chosen family but I think you know that.
Love always!
Phillip
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