Tiger Woods

My heart is breaking over this situation. By accident I turned the channel and saw that he was about to give an apology. I wanted to turn the channel because I thought that it was none of my business but curiosity and shock kept me watching. I have never been a golf fan thus never really been a Tiger Woods fan.

I kept watching thinking this is none of my business while feeling similar situational aspects of my own life coming to the forefront. I had a very horrible boyfriend who wanted his cake and eat it to. This is what Tiger was trying to do but the difference was that I really feel he never meant to hurt, disrespect or humiliate his family with this.

My ex during our relationship disrespected and humiliated me on a daily basis. He was most charismatic and if he were a car salesman, he could sell New Kia vehicles to a BMW car dealer. The one thing that I felt was very important when I was fed up with him and broke up with him, was that we treat each other with respect and try not to humiliate one another.

Unfortunately, it got worse. The humiliation and disrespect was in front of my face and I started writing a blog about it. This was very therapeutic for me but may not have been the best way of handling the situation. I do not regret it because I learned from it. I became stronger and found out that something from my recent past was not being dealt with psychologically. I started seeing a therapist and read self help books day and night.

I am not sure if Tiger's relationship will last but I am so glad that I watched. He spoke of his Buddhist upbringing and the core values that he felt made life better. He said that he went away from those core values and wants to come back to them. My core values were questioned as being Christian, even though I am Atheist, and they were also questioned as being the silly part of Americans. This made me feel better that there is a way of living that has nothing to do with the self. Living amongst others must take compassion, understanding, respect, honor, kindness, patience, faithfulness and self-control. Yes some of these come from the Bible but I believe the Bible to be a rule book for society rather than a religion. I don't agree with much in the bible but since we have a heightened awareness, it is important that we respect boundaries.

If we were wild animals, none of these rules would apply. We are not wild animals so why should we compare ourselves to them. I do like the study of animals because it does help us to understand things about ourselves but we know if we kill another that we have damaged not only that person but every person that knew that person as well as yourself. This goes with some of the "sins" listed in the bible. I believe in truth, I believe in honor, I believe in life, I believe in contracts and the respect that goes with them.

Tiger messed up but again that is totally between him and his wife. This is not something that we should be following. I wanted to watch his speech so that I can not have twisted words second hand. He seems much like my ex. Neither my ex nor Tiger are bad people but they did make some mistakes. I applaud Tiger for setting things right and pleading with the paparazzi to stop following his family. Even if they don't get back together, he showed great humility and allowed himself to stand on what he truly believes.

Life is so funny. It is true that what doesn't kill us can only make us stronger. I no longer look for people to abuse or use or take advantage of me. I try very hard not to turn it the other way and oppress another person. My old friendships worth saving have gotten so much deeper and my new friendships are with people who want nothing from me and are happy when things go well in my life and are there for me when they don't.

I know this is kind of word vomit but my mixed feelings over the Tiger Woods public apology are just as random. If every man could stand up and say that to their partner that they have wronged, we would have a much better society. Again, I don't think it is my business but this may have actually helped someone who is in the same situation.

I hope the best for your recover Tiger and the best for your wife's recovery.

Little gems

Lately things have been very stressful. I am realizing that the job search has gone a different route. I am fine with this but it does mean starting over again. This makes me a little anxious because I really want a house and a dog (my sweet Lacey can't be replaced but it would be nice to have a new little friend) and a yard, and new furniture and a TV and friends that live close by that come to my house and have dinner and enjoy just sitting and talking about something other than ourselves. I subscribe to a quote of the day site in my email and this little gem came in:

The greatest gift you will ever receive is the gift of loving and
believing in yourself. Guard this gift with your life. It is the only
thing that will ever truly be yours.

-- Tiffany Loren Rowe

I do love myself and believe in myself but the latter gets questioned by outside sources which makes one a bit guarded. I want to be in a place where I can let my guard down but until then I will just continue to love and believe in myself.

Even if I live on the street (which I will do my best to keep from happening) I know that I can adapt and find something loving and something secure. I really feel secure about so many things. Those things that I do not feel secure about, I have come to an acceptance of. They are mine just as my strengths are mine. I like being different and that will be what I have to offer... ME!

Sad day

I don't know why I am sad today.

I got an email from my great aunt and she said that she spoke to her brother and sister and they had some disappointing things to say. This made me think of my own two brothers and feel sad for the fact that we have hardly nothing in common. How can we come from the same parents and be so different? I moved away during some developmental years and I think that is why I am so estranged from them.

I think it is time to stop acting and start talking. This will be very difficult for me but I think the truth is so important. I am a very truthful person and will tell the truth when asked but my family and I have stopped asking questions so the truth remains within.

Today Real Utterances Tell Hope!!!!

Tomorrow Reveals Understanding Through Harmony!!!!

Take Refuge Until Talking Heals!!!!

Missionary Impossible (Simpsons Season 11 Episode 15)

Funny quote:

Homer, the philanthropist, tries to spread God's word by reading from the book of "Puh-salms," and tries to answer the islanders' two questions about religion.

Lisa, Jr.: Amy said that there are lots of religions.  Which is the right one? 

Homer:  Well, not the Unitarians.  If that's the one true faith, I'll eat my hat. 

Ak:  If the Lord is all-powerful, why does He care whether we worship Him or not?  Ak just saying. 

Homer:  Well, Ak, it's because God is powerful, but also insecure, like Barbara Streisand before James Brolin.  Oh, he's been a rock.

Quote from Roger on American Dad

I am really getting into finding interesting quotes from pop culture these days. Movies and TV shows really can shed light on the status of society and its future. It shows both the good and bad. Really it has no judgement on good or bad and just shows what it shows.

Roger is an alien (from outer space) on the show American Dad. The "American Dad" is Stan who on this episode at Christmas about the Rapture (Rapture's Delight; season 5, episode 9) said that his wife dressed too sexy for church. Roger who is more male than female wears both male and female clothing. He came out in Amish type clothing before church and Stan stated his approval of his attire. Roger responded with this:

“Aw, I love your religion… for the CRAZY! Virgin birth… water into wine… it’s, it’s like Harry Potter but it causes genocide and bad folk music.”

This whole episode was packed with great little lines like this. It is on HULU right now but it is a trailing episode which means it will not be on there long.

Opera has lost three of its senses

At the end of the 16th century (1500's) a group of men called the Florentine Camerata decided to collect all the arts together in one big proverbial pot and call it opera.  It was wonderful to engage the ears with beautiful music and the eyes with beautiful art and dance.  This opened itself to touch the several of the senses.  Later on, a rather extensive aria by a not so important character started the opera.  This aria became known as the sherbet aria.  It was well known that food and drink were important aspects of opera.  

We have covered the sense of sight through costumes, scenery, action and dance.  We have covered the sense of hearing through the music and language.  We have covered the sense of taste, touch and smell through the food and drink consumed during the opera.

Last night we brought opera to its roots at a wine tasting and five course meal at Central Market on 38th and Guadalupe Street in Austin, Texas.  The Austin Lyric Opera proudly sponsors a group of opera singers for promoting the various productions called La Muse Bouche of which I am a member.  We sang opera arias, duets, trios, and quartets as well as some art song while the audience experienced different wines and gourmet food.  The crowd sang our praises afterwards but it was then that I realized that this would not have happened without the food and drink.  I am certainly not saying that inebriation helped the entertainment.  I am saying, however, that they were able to experience an external gift that tickled every sense.  Food and wine are an art and if you want to incorporate all art forms then these elements must be present.

Thanks to the Austin Lyric Opera, Central Market and to the beautiful and receptive audience that felt opera in its entirety.  

Unions for all; Marriages for the religious.

I had a conversation the other day with an older gay couple that helped me to stay solid and secure with my sexual ethics.  So many young people today will have sex with the first person that shows them some interest.  Some are addicted to sex and some have sex with people they don't even know.  Many people have done these things but I think we all know that it doesn't feel good.  A child will eat chocolate until he is sick and the adult will (usually) stop before that point.  As a musician I can sing a song a day and not really get deep into the music but if I have had that piece for a year, the depths cannot be taken away from that experience.  Relationships may not last forever but while they last you should take advantage of a growing and monogamous sex life.  You learn so many new things with the same person especially after the initial fear of vanities dissipates.  Once you realize that sexual beauty is a combination of energies that include respect, trust and the total opposite of fear, you will understand why people chose to get married and stay married.  This is a beautiful coexistence for people wether they are straight or gay.  Please allow me to share in a bond of trust with another human being.  Give all people a union that wants one and let the religious get married in their churches without the word keeping us from something that should legally be given.